Pink Chuddies and Superman

Disclaimer: This post is not a work of fiction, resemblance to any person fat or thin, round or tall is not coincidental. If you find any resemblance between these characters and you, it is meant to offend and derogate you. This is an attempt to malign your image and insult you in public domain and should not be seen otherwise.

After thousands of e-mail and snail-mail request from my fans across the globe, I decided to write another post for enlightenment of the (wo)-mankind. Before I go any further, let me inform my fans and readers that all these months I was busy researching and decoding the algorithm of female mind, and to my surprise and your pleasure, I am almost done with my new research, that I am sure will be of immense help for Men across the universe {e.g. Husbands, Semi Husbands, Boyfriends, Semi Boyfriends, Aspiring Boyfriends, and M.B.As (Married but Available)}. I shall discuss the findings of the research in the subsequent posts, but before that let me thank my millions and zillions of fans for the love and support that they gave me during the days of my research.

In this post, I shall take you through the happenings of the months gone by. I was heartened to see fan-males…oopss..! I mean fan-mails in my inbox every day, most often from my female fans, the only thing I can say is; “I am touched and honoured”. Thank you all..!! Not only did they send me mails but also gifts and parcels. A female fan sent me some flowers; another girl sent me 32 kisses in a sealed envelope. Some female organizations which were offended by my previous Post Guy’s guide to dating, started a nationwide drive against me and had sent me a big box consisting of a few hundred Pink Chuddies!... (Not bad though! I don’t have to wash my Chuddies anymore, I can afford to use and throw).

In another shocking incident, one of my ‘Fan’ tried committing suicide, after being caught by the local police, he confessed that, without the dose of my cheap and nonsense writing for over three months, he did not see any relevance in his cheap life, so he wanted to end it.

Some of my esteemed fans had sent me small and mid-sized boxes full of onion. As they say, one should not talk about one’s wealth, nevertheless, with the stock of onion that I had, I actually became the richest Indian in the country for a day, as reported by ‘Forbes’. But as luck would have it, our politician could not take it, after some high end corporate –political lobbying on behalf of ‘Amkesh Mubani’ (after losing to me as the Richest Indian) was done by some ‘Rira Nadia’…The state chief minister ‘Dhila Sikshit’ and Agriculture minister ‘Parad Sawar’ jointly raided my house, after over 10 hours of interrogation and consultation from various national and international investigative agency, they were convinced that the onions indeed were sent to me as gift by my fans across the globe, but then they decided to book me for possessing assets disproportionate to my Income (yes, the 32 Kisses in the sealed envelope)…even after pleading not guilty and trying my best to convince them , they hinted to the simple fact that they could not possibly be oblivious to the fact that I had so many kisses under my possession, which is quite rare these days for somebody with one girlfriend. As a result I was put behind the bars; where I had to share my jail-cell with my idol and role model ‘Kuresh Salmadi’. (I always admired him for his taste in fineness; who else in India buys a roll of toilet paper for Rs. 5,000.00)

Having spent a few days in prison, finally when I got back, I was shattered and heartbroken to hear the news about my childhood hero ‘Superman’. Superman has been domesticated by his long time Girlfriend ‘Lois Joanne Lane’…In the shocking events of affairs, now Superman is fully domesticated by his girlfriend. Ever since my childhood days, I always admired Superman for his bravery, heroism and his clean pair of underwears. Alas, not any more, I hate you Lois Lane…!! You took my hero away.

Now the domestication means no saving the world business, only household chores like, laundry, dishes, cleaning, moping etc..

No more underwear over the pants business

Occasional appearances in ‘Superhero Alumni Meets’ but strictly with girlfriend prescribed dresses only

I pity Superman, I wish I could do something, alas! I can’t. However, that’s an important lesson for my male readers, stay guarder, and not fall for trap.

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P.S.: After a series of failure in almost everything I tried, I promise to stay frequent on my Blog.
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